Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Friday, August 19, 2011
The moments of melancholy expressed in my last post didn't last long, nor were they as intense as they've been in the past; I sort of expect those feelings now. But I did make a concerted effort to cheer myself up:
The tub here is amazing, and the soap provided by the hotel leads to lavish foam (very, like something you'd expect of a Marilyn Monroe movie). And yes, my rubber duck was there, too. I bought it at Daiso the other day, because I don't cope so well without whimsy.
Later I put the iPod on shuffle and danced around my room, which I hadn't really done since high school. (Even better, I used to buy rolls of bubble wrap and spread it out on the floor, then dance around. Fantastic.)
All in all, I'm happy. And so thankful.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Feeling a little lost and stumbly, like the typical expat in need of a hug - and not just any hug, but the smothering, all-encompassing hold of someone who knows and has known me. You know?
And yet out I go, into the world, thankful for new experiences and a little adventure. I'm getting better at kicking myself out the door, knowing that getting to the party is often the hardest part.
Still, after a quarter century on this planet, you'd think it'd be easier to sink into a sense of belonging, that I'd get over not feeling quite right or good enough. Sometimes I wish I could slap a label on what I am, other than "sensitive." I take refuge and find gratitude in quiet mornings by the pool, long conversations over shared meals, and many cups of strong coffee.
In that way, being here is a lot like being at home. After all, wherever you go, there you are.