ordinary abundance

"There are two ways to get enough. One is to continue to accumulate more and more. The other is to desire less."

G.K. Chesterton

. . .

I've been sitting on a version of this post for almost a week now, waiting for the words to come more easily and eloquently. Maybe I'm still feeling the holiday fog, but I'm tired of waiting. This is so close to my heart right now, and I just need to get something down and out into the world, however imperfectly expressed.

. . .

I love Christmas. I really do. I used to take more joy in the preparation than the actual celebration, but slowing things down this year and honoring Advent as a time of reflection and simplicity helped make both more manageable and merry. Which isn't to say there isn't plenty of room for improvement, but we're taking it one year at a time.

All that said, I find myself so hungry for Ordinary Time. Maybe it's that I'm getting older, or perhaps it's just this season of life, but I long for routine, simplicity, and everyday grace. For the unexpected beauty of "normal," the bounty beneath the surface, just waiting to be noticed. In this way, Advent and Christmas mirror the cycle of our entire lives. 

Our tree was beautiful this year (it still is, actually, as we're keeping it up until Epiphany). We never got around to hanging more than a handful of ornaments, mostly those that belong to Caleb or have been gifts to Andy and me during our marriage. Still, I love having those little lights on in the evenings, and I love watching Caleb wave hello to the tree when he wakes up in the morning. It was wonderful to see gifts wrapped and ready piled underneath, too, tokens of love given and received. I generally enjoy buying presents. We don't go overboard, but we do try to carefully consider each person on our list. I offer up prayers and goodwill as I wrap everything, hoping to somehow imbue the items with the spirit of care in which they were chosen.

But -- in the midst of wrapping gifts and baking counters full of cookies (I managed four kinds this year, phew!), the thing that really grabbed me was the fruit basket sitting on our counter, in the same spot it lives most days. Suddenly it was so inexplicably beautiful.

Call it satori, call it the "wow" prayer, but whatever name you give the moment, it was as though someone pressed the pause button on the world for a second. 

Recently I started watching the BBC drama Cranford (I promise this is connected), and in the second episode there's a scene where the main characters are given oranges to enjoy. For reasons of dignity and decorum, they go to their bedrooms to eat their fruit alone. The idea that oranges could be such a treat, so exotic, and pleasurable to the point of inappropriateness really stuck with me. And I think that's part of what got me when I saw our fruit basket, full of bananas and limes and clementines and even a pomegranate. The basket itself is something Andy and I brought back from Oman. What a miracle it would seem to the people of Cranford to see such treasures sitting in our kitchen! Yet we very nearly expect that we'll have access to these things at will. They blend into the background. But to really see them, even if briefly? Wow. 

The same thing happened last night when I caught a glimpse of my hands in a sink full of dishes, scrubbing the pans from dinner. And I saw them. The whimsy of the soap bubbles, the dim light just so, and two capable hands -- hands that help me care for a family. Wow. I felt my throat catch at the wonder of my regular life. I get to be a wife! I get to be a mom. It is so beautiful. I'm learning how to nourish my family both physically and spiritually, and while the journey has no endpoint, I can't believe how far I've come in the past year. In a way, I'm even more grateful that I was finally able to be present to this abundance, to recognize the profound blessing that is my ordinary life.

I've gotten pretty good at saying "HELP!" and "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" this past year. Or at least, I tend to call out those prayers often. But I've often stopped short of "Wow." So that's what I'm aiming for in 2015: Eyes to see the abundance that surrounds me, and a soul moved to tears by the wonder of it all. x

holiday recap 2014

A few small snippets of our Advent and Christmas. It was a beautiful season, and I only had one stress-induced breakdown ;) In all seriousness, though, by Thursday night I was completely drained, just bone-tired -- but my heart was bursting at the seams. If you're talking love & joy, Christmas with a little one is where it's at.

From top to bottom: Advent in-progress | St. Nick was here! | Lots of simple meals, including this homemade bread | The only decorating I did, apart from our (ornament-less) Christmas tree | Neighborhood tree lighting | Peppermint-scented play dough | Two of the four kinds of cookies I made: Salted PB chocolate pretzel, and rolled butter cookie cutouts | Homemade marshmallows | Brown paper packages, tied up with string | Andy and I bought each other the same (AMAZING) candle | Baked eggnog French toast on Christmas morning | Merry and bright and full of light x

three things + an update

Three things I'm thankful for this Thursday (not including a dose of all-too-easy alliteration ;)).

1. Stripey pants and new shoes (presents from his grandparents) on the legs and feet of our almost-toddler. He's been cruising with a walker like it's his job (and even threw a very toddler-like fit when it was time to be "all done" with the walker at his friend's house). 

2. I found my favorite bracelet! It was missing for a month, lost in the couch cushions as it turns out. I'd blame this on the aforementioned almost-toddler, but it was definitely my fault. I often take my jewelry off to type/write, so that's probably how it ended up buried.  I wear this piece almost every day, and I'm so glad it was lost (and found!) in a safe place :)

3. At some point, I became a person for whom cooking is frequently a way to relax and unwind. Last night we needed something quick for dinner, since I worked late, and our simple meal included this roasted kale. As I was preparing it, I couldn't help navel-gaze just a little bit and wonder, Who IS this person??? But I have to say, I like her.

Here's how I made the kale (it really is incredibly easy, and it makes you look like you know what you're doing in the kitchen ;)):

Roasted Kale Sprouts

with Pine Nuts and Pomegranate Seeds

Ingredients

Kale sprouts (I used a pre-washed bag from Trader Joe's)

2 Tbsp EV olive oil 

1 Tbsp pine nuts

1 Tbsp pomegranate seeds (again, I used the ready-to-eat version from Trader Joe's)

Sea salt and pepper to taste

Method

Preheat oven to 375°. Spread kale sprouts in single layer on rimmed metal baking sheet and drizzle with olive oil; toss to coat. Add sea salt and black pepper to taste. 

Place in heated oven for about 20 minutes, stirring every 5 minutes or so. As the kale nears "doneness," the edges of the leaves will become crispy. Once they're slightly crisp, toss in the pine nuts and broil for 2 minutes or so to toast the nuts. Remove from oven.

Plate each portion (or place in a bowl) and sprinkle on pomegranate seeds. Add additional salt and pepper if desired. Done!

. . .

I will reiterate that I am no chef; I'm still learning and making it up as I go. But roasted veggies have become a staple around here, and this dish did not disappoint.

And now for a little update. I layered the quote and image from Monday's Cup and like the results enough that I'm planning to print this out and hang it by my desk, so I thought I'd share it. In keeping with the recent theme around here...it's very (very) simple. But that, I'm learning, is how I like things best. x

regenerated green onions

Did you know? Green onions can be regenerated quickly and easily. Just put the bulbs in a jar with water up to the light green part of the stem. Place in a decently sunny spot (ours is on our east-facing kitchen window sill), and switch out the water every few days. That's it! I've never been very successful at keeping plants alive or growing much of anything, but this trick has worked beautifully. I purchased these green onions several weeks ago, and we've been enjoying them in dishes ever since.

(PS - I came across this tip in a recent issue of Vegetarian Times. The article includes a few other bits of "kitchen magic" I have yet to try.)

grateful/lately

We had an overcast morning yesterday following some intense storms during the night. Every now and then I love a grey day--there's no pressure to go outside or do much of anything. Caleb took an early nap, and I watched a show in bed while I drank my morning coffee. I can't remember the last time I stopped and just sat like that. It felt good.

Eventually the sun did come out. We ran a few errands, and Caleb played in his travel crib outside while I mowed the lawn. He went down for the night around 6:30 (!). Andy got home shortly after, so I was able to go to yoga. It was my first time back since probably May. The class was a tough one, absolutely sweltering, but it felt amazing. I didn't take any breaks, and afterwards I ponied up the cash for a month of unlimited classes. Guess I'm tired of waiting for the "right" or "perfect" conditions. I'll be going back tonight. First, though, Caleb and I are off to meet Andy at his boss's house for a pool day. No complaints here. Really, truly. I'm glad I listened to my heart and left my job. Being home is so good, for all of us. 

My in-progress office. A clean slate.

New sneaks! So incredibly comfortable.

Fruits of the Summer salad. Perfection.

And my son, cuddler of cardboard babies and self-feeding machine. 

Caleb, you are the best blessing I have ever known.

on track

As I work towards cooking healthy meals on the regular, I thought it'd be helpful to have a weekly tracking sheet to record my efforts. I used to do this years ago but fell out of the habit. Now that I have a bit of baby weight to lose, it seemed time to bring it back. I'll also be training for a few races this fall, so I made a fitness log too. The upper righthand corner of each has a space for a "goal of the week" (or a motivating phrase). I don't anticipate using these forever, but for now it's nice to have a way to see my progress and stay accountable.

feed thyself (thy family, too)

Since moving we've been doing a lot more cooking at home, and it's such a relaxing way to unwind in the evenings. Our kitchen is easily my favorite room in the house--bright and light, with plenty of room for everyone.

When I lived in Germany, we ate all three meals together as a family every day. Breakfast was simple, usually some sort of spread/bread combo and coffee. Lunch was the big meal of the day and almost always hot. Around 4pm we'd have an espresso break, sometimes with a small piece of chocolate or a cookie. In the evenings we'd have our abendsbrot (bread with cheese or a savory spread) accompanied by soup or salad. (When there was a good mystery show on we'd eat dinner in front of the TV, which is about the only similarity to my American upbringing.) If we'd gone out for kaffee und kuchen (coffee and cake) earlier in the afternoon we'd skip dinner altogether. I loved the simplicity, routine, and ritual of it all. I'd like to raise Caleb with a version of this German approach to mealtimes.

Today was a success, and the more I meal plan, food shop, and recipe hunt, the easier it all becomes. I also enjoy it so much. I find having a routine to be really freeing, actually.

This morning Caleb enjoyed a banana while I drank a smoothie based on one served at our local juice bar. Their version uses dates, coconut, and vanilla almond milk with lots of ice. I subbed coconut almond milk for the vanilla, skipped the ice, kept the dates, and added banana, frozen spinach, and flax meal. It was SO GOOD! Extremely filling and energizing.

For lunch, I made a cauliflower soup adapted from a slew of recipes I cobbled together. I started with a mirepoix, added an entire head of cauliflower (cut into florets), and used vegetable stock for the liquid (hence the orange-y color). Before serving I stirred in a spoonful of Greek yogurt for a little creaminess, then topped it off with crumbled goat cheese and chives. Satisfying without being overly hearty. Caleb gobbled it up, too. On the side I had a pretzel roll with avocado and havarti.

Once dinner rolled around I wasn't that hungry. A small serving of hot salt-and-vinegar potatoes was plenty (and delicious!). I followed the recipe in the link but subbed tricolor potatoes, since I already had them on hand. And once again, Caleb was a major fan :) We all especially loved the purple potatoes.

I've got a few more recipes already chosen for the week centered on ingredients we already have. I'd also like to try something unlike anything I've done before (not hard, as what you see here is pretty much my first real and consistent foray into cooking). Garlic scape tempura, anyone?

last night's dinner

Recipe found in this month's issue of Real Simple.

afternoon snack

And now I'm off to take an afternoon bubble bath and maybe follow it up with a little bit of art-making. Happy because a) we went on a field trip today, and b) tomorrow is Thursday and therefore the start of my weekend.

It's a good day.

our daily bread

A few weeks ago we finally bought a gas tank for our stove (since our apartment building sits in the middle of a construction zone, the gas lines aren't hooked up just yet). I've loved being able to prepare meals at home again -- there is something immensely satisfying about sustaining oneself "from scratch". My brother's girlfriend gave us this cookbook for Christmas, and I've slowly been working my way through the recipes. Last week, I baked a loaf of the rye soda bread found in the book. Served with a generous helping of herbed butter and a big bowl of soup, it was the perfect meal for a cozy night at home and again as lunch at work the next day.

Thanks, Hillary! :)

mantra

Found here.

When I lived in Berlin, a friend of mine had a small framed poster in her kitchen that said "Tea Revives You." Cute, but . . . . meh.

Coffee on the other hand? Now we're talking. (Boldest brew, black as it can be, yes that's everything, thankyouverymuch.)

Extended check in soon, folks. Promise.

breakfast of champions

For a while, my breakfast consisted of grabbing whatever was easiest as I flew out the door after hitting the snooze button 20 times. Usually that meant a prepackaged granola bar and a banana. Not terrible, but I would end up hungry again within a couple hours.

Enter the realm of the protein-packed smoothie. This keeps me full from 7:00 am all the way 'til lunchtime at 12:30 pm. Here's how I make it: Blend 1/4 c. chopped frozen mangos, a banana, and a bit of spinach (you can't taste it once it's in there) with 1/3 c. of water. Add about a 1/4 c. organic coconut yogurt, 1 T. almond powder, and 1/2 T. flax seeds and blend again. That's it, you're good to go!

I was out of mango the other day, so I used frozen berries instead (hence the color of the smoothie pictured). And honestly, I don't really measure, but the result always tastes good and hasn't once failed to tide me over. Makes getting up when my alarm actually goes off totally worth it :)

And of course, no breakfast in my universe would be complete without this:

Coffee, I will always love you.

Happy Monday, folks!

happy thanksgiving

(image found here)

truth beauty

Haven't been writing lately, as my internet connection is slower than slow. Truly, it took FOREVER for these pictures to load. I vacuumed and mopped my whole apartment while I waited for them to appear. Which also tells you that my apartment is rather small, but still. STILL.

I can't complain too much, though, because LOOK AT THIS:

If that is not one of the most beautiful things you've ever seen, then I can't help you. In fact, there's probably no help for you. Because OH MY GOD - gorgeous. Tomatoes! Cilantro! Geraniums! Summer.

::sigh::

I left work early today, as I'm (once again) getting sick. This time it entails losing my voice, along with headaches and dizziness. It does not, however, include loss of appetite (such a loss is, let's face it, quite the rarity for me). So on my way home, I stopped briefly at the local market and picked up a few things. If only I could post smells on this blog, because the scent of that cilantro is incredible. It has permeated my entire fridge and most of the kitchen. (And thank god - what a welcome alternative to the overpowering stench of French cheese that managed to linger for months.)

I'm thinking I may have to declare this my personal flag:

I piled all of this on top of some couscous, tossed it with olive oil, and dolloped Greek yogurt on top. So simple, and yet so good I could probably cry. Truly - sometimes I marvel at the fact I don't go around with tears constantly streaming down my face, there is so much joy to be found in this world.

loot

From home:

Thank you, Neecy, for the beautiful jewelry and inspiring book. Love love LOVE it all.

From school:

A portrait of me, according to one very insistent three-year-old. (The artist is my 'secret favorite,' a label I stole from Esme. I'm human, I can't help it!)

From my recent trip to Tuebingen:

We went to the Ritter Sport outlet store, where I went a little crazy. Don't worry, I'm bringing some back with me! There's no way I could eat three kilos on my own...well, ok, actually I probably could, but I won't. Promise.

The outlet is attached to a great museum, which happens to have an amazing gift shop, where I also bought a monkey that can do multiplication. Teachers need such novelties, I mean it! And so do I, generally and personally. Whimsy makes my world go 'round...

...as does my favorite chocolate shop in all the world, where I also bought coffee for the first time. Again, I'm sending a few of these things home (the coffee, however, is solely for my enjoyment).

And from the Turkish Market here in Kreuzberg:

A gorgeous new plant, the first of (hopefully) many to come - I'd like to deck my balcony out in as much spring- and summer-drag-show-glory as possible! Must enjoy it while I can.

Contained in this baggie is homemade ravioli, and contained inside each is chesnut-and-pear filling. Not shown here is the other pasta I bought, with pistachio-limette filling. All I can say is, HEAVEN.

My plant again, plus a couple bottles of my favorite Greek table wine, which tastes vaguely and deliciously of pine needles. The 'china shoes' I actually bought in my neighborhood, on the way to the Turkish market, but ya know. All in a day's haul.