quick...count yer blessings

I've been trying to avoid even a whisper of the infamous grass-is-always-greener syndrome. I made a choice that felt right at the time, and I've gotta live with that.

But today I am keenly aware of a Berlin-shaped hole in my heart.

(I do still have that visa, you know . . . hmmm . . .)

lazy sunday

Gathered a few essentials and planted myself firmly on the patio

where I propped up my very-German-as-of-late feet and made a dent in my summer reading

while Pepper (what else?) sniffed around the yard

and found her favorite toy

until she heard the sound of shortbread being unwrapped.

Begging got her nowhere, though, so she soon found a friend to curl up with inside. Which earned her sympathy and a belly scratch, sure. But no shortbread.

emy and pepper go on an adventure

Fed up with neighborhood strolls and runs through the park, we set off in search of some wilderness....

A short while later we were here, trying to decide which path to take. It was all very, uh, Frostian (yuk yuk yuk).

But then we saw this sign, telling us of a shortcut to the lake, and the way was obvious.

Especially when we realized our chosen path went through the forest, unlike the other, paved option. (So perhaps ours was the road less traveled, hmm? Ha ha heh! I know, I know, I'll stop.)

Pepper bravely led the way.

Er, until she got distracted, that is.

So many good smells, too much to take in!

Her still puppy-like self just couldn't take it.

Eventually we crossed this road, with a very interesting sign. . .

Turns out the Berlin Wall used to run along this same stretch.

But another sign soon reminded us of today's goal: To the lake!

It was strange to see giant blocks of apartment buildings stretching up through the trees. . .

. . . so we just looked the other way. (This, believe it or not, was all there was to be had of one very small lake. See it? It's right there, behind that grass! No? Yeah, well, nothing much to see. Just gotta enjoy the green.)

But nevermind. We kept on going, and soon we were walking through a grove of birch trees.

We emerged to find a heron feeding in this stream. Can you spot him? They may be fairly common, but the majesty of a heron always takes my breath away.

Even Pepper was pretty chilled out after that.

As we started on the path back home, the sun came out to show off its skill at shadow play.

And a clearly satisfied Pepper made for success all around.

it's in my nature

Recently did some of that wandering I am so prone to while Andy was here for a visit. The shot above was taken by him in Potsdam.

I'm house- and dog-sitting for two weeks (one down, one more to go), and I've been using the time to hike and go for runs (dog in tow, of course), cook healthy & delicious food, sleep in, watch a little too much TV (haven't had one of those since I moved here so am making up for it), read, and apply for jobs. That last one isn't as fun or relaxing as the rest, but it feels good to be somewhat productive, in a practical sort of way. I've also been thinking out my potential Etsy shop for the ump-teenth time, as a fall back/free time sort of venture. We'll see. For now, though, more of that reading/sleeping mentioned above.

people [draw] pictures of each other

My children (ok, so it's more like, "my" children) are frequently gifting me drawings. As I emphatically receive their handiwork, they almost always add, "It's you!" This obviously melts my heart (even in this 97 degree heat, ugh), and I can't bear to part with any of these crayon-and-marker masterpieces. I'd scan 'em if I could, but I don't have a scanner at the moment (go figure). Instead, I've been taking (semi-crap) photographs of all the drawings, just to make sure I've got documentation (validation?). Below, the Miss K Portrait Gallery: Different Artists, One Theme.

It's like that time they did the cows in Chicago - ONLY BIGGER! Except not, not at all. Well, okay, in my world. Probably only there, but ya know. So goes it.

loot

From home:

Thank you, Neecy, for the beautiful jewelry and inspiring book. Love love LOVE it all.

From school:

A portrait of me, according to one very insistent three-year-old. (The artist is my 'secret favorite,' a label I stole from Esme. I'm human, I can't help it!)

From my recent trip to Tuebingen:

We went to the Ritter Sport outlet store, where I went a little crazy. Don't worry, I'm bringing some back with me! There's no way I could eat three kilos on my own...well, ok, actually I probably could, but I won't. Promise.

The outlet is attached to a great museum, which happens to have an amazing gift shop, where I also bought a monkey that can do multiplication. Teachers need such novelties, I mean it! And so do I, generally and personally. Whimsy makes my world go 'round...

...as does my favorite chocolate shop in all the world, where I also bought coffee for the first time. Again, I'm sending a few of these things home (the coffee, however, is solely for my enjoyment).

And from the Turkish Market here in Kreuzberg:

A gorgeous new plant, the first of (hopefully) many to come - I'd like to deck my balcony out in as much spring- and summer-drag-show-glory as possible! Must enjoy it while I can.

Contained in this baggie is homemade ravioli, and contained inside each is chesnut-and-pear filling. Not shown here is the other pasta I bought, with pistachio-limette filling. All I can say is, HEAVEN.

My plant again, plus a couple bottles of my favorite Greek table wine, which tastes vaguely and deliciously of pine needles. The 'china shoes' I actually bought in my neighborhood, on the way to the Turkish market, but ya know. All in a day's haul.

back on course

This morning I wore these running for the first time in a looong while:

For months (years?) I've been hesitant to do anything besides walk in them. But lots of people at work have been participating in races all over Berlin, including a charity run this past Sunday (they raised over 1000 GBP for breast cancer research), and it's been so motivating and inspiring. After weeks of contemplating joining the bandwagon, today I finally had the guts to go out and run. 

At 5:30 am, I rolled out of bed and climbed sleepily into my workout clothes, then somehow got myself down the stairs, out the door, and onto the pavement. And I ran. I wasn't fast (at all - 2.5 miles in around 25 minutes), but who cares? I actually ran! For the first time in years!

So why today? Well, there's a 10k race on the 4th of July, and I've always wanted to do a race (just so I could say I had, pretty much). Last night I found an eight week 10k training plan online. After a little bit of figuring, I realized I'd have exactly eight weeks to train for the July race if I started right away. So I did.

I've also registered on a fun site that enables me to create different routes and track my progress. It feels good to have this outlet, a place to focus and direct some creative energy.

Tomorrow it'll be off to the pool for some cross-training (speaking of swimming, there's another fitness-and-well-being hurdle I've overcome these past few weeks, yay me).

I must say, the peanut butter-chocolate chip blondies I made this evening felt especially well-earned :)

living it up, or: what goes down must come up - the sequel

What is WITH me and food poisoning?! I've spent the past two days running between the toilet and my bed, in a state of dizzy exhaustion. Me thinks Thursday night's Mongolian buffet may not have been the brightest idea. (Yet I'm the only one in our group that was sick. So either it wasn't the Mongolian, even though that all came up pretty swiftly, or it was the tofu, as I do believe I'm the only one that enjoyed that particular offering. Either way, UGH.)

I was initially struck down Friday morning around 5am but still managed to get myself up and partially dressed for work. As I was getting ready to put on my sweater and coat, "the wave" hit again, and I knew there was no way I'd be going anywhere. It took me another hour just to get out of my work clothes and back into my pajamas, one step at a time with considerable breaks in between.

Along about 3pm, after sleeping/barfing most of the day away, I convinced myself it was time to pick up some Sprite at the market down the street. As the store is literally a one minute walk from my apartment, I thought I could handle it.

An hour-and-a-half later, I'd finally managed to get some clothes on and head out the door. I made it as far as paying for the Sprite before passing out in my own vomit on the floor between the checkout lane and entryway. Classic, I know.

[INSERT PICTURE OF STORE WHERE I PASSED OUT HERE]

I'm feeling MUCH better now, but the whole incident was scary enough to make my decision to leave Berlin come summer a lot easier. (Yup, never thought I'd EVER turn down a job offer abroad, but I did. I'm nuts. Still, something tells me it was the right decision. And not just the fact that in the States, I'd have more people to call that might come and rescue me from the contents of my stomach.)

my muse is back

And it all started with this:

papergirl-berlin.de

I really, REALLY want to participate. We'll see if I have enough guts. In any case, I'm feeling crazy-inspired. Which is excellent.

Not only is it the "Easter Monday" holiday here (which means everything is closed), it's also rainy and drab. So I've thus far spent the entire day in my pj's, listening to music, watching DVDs, doing laundry, drinking coffee/tea/wine, and sketching (sorta):

It's nothing perfect or spectacular, but the sentiment and feel of it ring true to me right now. (As does much of the song from whence it came.) I'm excited at the prospect of what it could become. I'm also increasingly drawn to the idea of using handicraft materials in my work - building on the idea of my embroidered library checkout card from a few years ago - and I think this may be a piece that lends itself well to that, on a variety of meaningful (to me) levels.

Another in-the-works idea (not necessarily for papergirl, but just because) came from a conversation I had with Laura on our recent trip to Prague. She mentioned something about "words you can frame" - words that encompass so much in their own language that it's pretty much impossible to translate them in any acceptable way. Laura happens to really like the English word "obnoxious," for which she says there is no German (or Italian or French or Slovak) equivalent (yep, she speaks some of all those). A few other words we came up with:

namaste
ubuntu
gemütlich
hygge

...and I now have what I think is a very cool project idea, starting with the last word on that list. (It's Danish, and there's a nice description here.) I have a whole 'nother week off (end-of-term hols, you know), so I'm hoping to get to one of the most glorious stores on earth within the next few days. Then hopefully I can make tangible some of the whatnot in my head.

and i had pizza and wine to celebrate

"Do one thing everyday that scares you." Didn't Emerson say something along these lines?

Well good ol' Ralph woulda been mighty proud of me yesterday. I conquered my fears and did something I long swore I hated and was awful at and didn't enjoy even one little bit: I went swimming.

And I loved it.

As I entered the pool, my heart was racing and my chest was tight. "I can't swim! Look at all these people! They're going to laugh because I'm so ridiculously horrible. WHY AM I HERE?!?"

I'd told myself ahead of time that jogging through the pool would also be good exercise. Except the entire shallow section seemed to be reserved for screaming children and their caretakers.

So I went for it. I swam. It was nothing graceful or picturesque, but I got myself from one end to the other and back again. Then I took a break, and I did it again. And again. And again.

After a good 90 minutes, I felt like I could've stayed in that pool for another hour. But my eyes were cloudy with chlorine and it was getting close to dinner time. Through the windows in the ceiling, I could also see big patches of blue sky, where earlier the day had been grey and dull. I wanted to get outside and enjoy the weather before it was too late. But I will be going back. You can bet money on that. In fact, I can hardly wait.

from the kitchen window

sick

After I got home from work on Friday, I thought my head would explode. I drank lots of water, took a bath full of salt from the Dead Sea (according to the bag), and crossed my fingers that I'd feel good enough to go to the birthday party I'd been invited to (in a really cool alternative housing project with lots of my favorite kind of people - namely those that, in one way or another, tend to live on the fringe).

No such luck.

I crawled into bed around eight and promptly passed out.

Hence the lack of posting. And so close to the end! Like I said last week, though, I'm giving myself a reprieve. Starting a new job, moving, running around taking care of immigration paperwork/insurance/setting up a bank account....it was all I could do to finally buy some groceries this week!

Yesterday I woke up with my head feeling even stuffier, but with a little bit of coffee in my system, I was sorted enough to walk to the pharmacy and get some ASS+C, which is aspirin and vitamins you dissolve in water. (And luckily I knew to ask for Ah-Ess-Ess, not ass.) I also went to the drugstore and fully stocked my cold-fighting arsenal with orange juice, hot lemon brew, nasal spray, and Tempo (the German Kleenex). On my way back to the apartment, I stopped for some Indian takeout - my tried and true way to unblock quickly. (Oh, and yep, pharmacies and drugstores are separate. You have your Walgreen's-style shop minus the meds, then a separate chemist, or Apotheke, that sells the hardcore stuff.)

By evening I felt well enough to go to a different birthday party (we started with dinner here), and I'm so glad I did because I had a great time. Mostly just work people, including a new student teacher from the States I hadn't met before. When I heard her singing "Business Time" at the other end of the table, my heart skipped a beat. Turns out she has both seasons of FOC on DVD with her here in Berlin. So in exchange for me helping her navigate the ins and outs of the Auslaenderpolizei (immigration police...not an official title), she's going to let me borrow the disks. Score!

So anyway, there you have it. Illness and life took over just as I was nearing the finish line of this 30 day challenge. All in all, though, I think I did well. And I learned that blogging more often is possible, and sometimes the very act of sitting down to WRITE is all I need to get going (may seem obvious, but well. Guess I didn't believe it until I tried it). Sometimes I would begrudgingly start a post, only to find the end result freeing and wonderful. Not always, but sometimes. Which is enough to make the whole process very, very worth it.

[29/30 complete]

bits and pieces

student: "what's wrong with you? why you talk like that?"

me: "what - my accent? you mean why don't i sound like the other teachers?"

yeah, that was it. so i explained how (just like his mom) i'm an american, and we sound different than people from england blah blah blah. it was actually really funny. guess i just don't fit the context of what he's used to at school.

another little boy played the mini cymbals on my bum today. and though i stopped him immediately, it was awkward.

i'm getting used to saying "trousers" instead of "pants," as the latter refers soley to underwear. but i still feel like such an idiot telling children to mind their trousers and jumpers while playing outside! (jumper = sweater)

also, i mentioned something about groceries the other day and got a lot of blank looks from my colleagues. probably because the brits go food shopping. (for broad beans and courgette and mushy peas and similar such nonsense.)

the children so far have been forced to call me by my full last name because "they need to learn it." ugh, i don't care! they can learn it all they want, but as soon as they do, it's back to miss k. because that's what i like. (well, ok, sometimes i go by queen k, of course, but i think that'd prolly be really offensive. the single initial is bad enough to some.)

BRILLIANT! WELL DONE! TIDY UP TIME! BOYS AND GIWRS! never used to say these things, and now they're out my mouth multiple times a day. (and, yes, i do mean "out my mouth" because i've also picked up on dropping "of" on a regular basis.)

i'm going to come home with a strange layered accent using countless britishisms without realizing it. (although, i have also noticed myself saying "owa!" and "shvoops!" instead of "ow" and "oops," so it'll be british- AND german-isms.)

one thing i do like, though - and this is kind of silly - is that you're still expected to hug and hold the smallest children. it's really relaxing, calming a child. it's honestly one of my favorites parts of the job.

[28/30 complete - two tomorrow and i'm DONE DONE DONE!]

that kind of day

This book = my life. OK, not really. But sort of. A little.

Totally exhausted. My forearms ache like none other from carrying everything yesterday - it even hurts to lift my fork to my mouth! Not that that stopped me from shoveling down an extremely generous helping of mac-n-cheese for dinner. It was definitely a comfort food kind of day. Plus I've lost my wallet, so I couldn't buy anything else even if I wanted to, and the only other thing I have on hand at the moment is uncooked aduki beans. (It was NOT an aduki bean kind of day by any stretch.) In addition, I downloaded a bunch of shows off iTunes and painted my nails while I watched them. (Thanks for the gift card, Andy. You know me well.) So much comfort, on so many levels.

Tomorrow I plan to wear my giant flower ring and a bright pink shirt. Because I need a dose of spring and a little cheering up. It's supposed to be in the 50's (14 degrees Celsius, definitely had to use an online converter), so maybe I'll even be able to don my trench (complete with cover buttons I made using vintage fabric) instead of my tired wool coat. Fingers crossed that a) the sun comes out, and b) I find my wallet in the staff room tomorrow.

[27/30 complete]

make my bed and light the light

Home.

Well, of sorts :) It's not perfect, but it's mine. And it only took four trips down four flights of stairs, a taxi ride, then four more trips up another four flights of stairs. Who needs the gym, right?

[26/30 complete]

total begeistert

Do they have "internet sticks" in the States? Because I'd never heard of such a thing before, but now I have this fabulous USB drive that allows me to access the internet wherever I am, like a cell phone. And it costs the same as wireless. I'm seriously in love. Why don't we have these?

FINALLY got all my paperwork sorted this morning. It was fairly miserable. Lots of closed doors and hallways that don't seem to lead anywhere, in the middle of industrial nowheresville (aka, remote Westhafen). You had to wait in line to get a number in order to (what else?) wait in another line. Picture a dying jade plant atop rows and rows of tattered orange file folders, and you'll get a sense of the place's cheer.

When I went to pay for my visa (after they found it, that is - only took three tries and a couple phone calls), there was a man in front of me who didn't know where to go. He asked the girl behind the counter if she could help him. She said no, of course, so he asked if she knew who could help him, or at least who he could ask. Again, no. That was it. Welcome to Germany, where if you can figure out how to hoop-jump on your own, you may be worth keeping. Oy.

Moved a few things over to my apartment this evening but am going to spend one more night in my current accomodations before making the big switch. After a day of running around I just couldn't get my brain around hauling two suitcases up to the fourth floor. My shoulders protested, too.

Pictures of the place to come. (Took one I was planning on posting here tonight, but stupidly left my camera behind). It's my first proper day of work tomorrow so wish me luck! Can't wait to be with the little ones again.

[25/30 complete]

it's happened again

a) I missed a post and will have to "double up" in the near future.

b) I'm addicted yet again:

This one (the sequel to the Hunger Games) isn't moving quite as quickly, but it's an excellent way to pass jet-lagged hours (meaning when I'm wide awake at five in the morning or too tired to do anything else later in the day).

Getting the keys to my new apartment later today and will move in tomorrow. That means wireless internet very soon, which hopefully also means pictures. (Though I made hold out for blue skies before photographing my place and the neighborhood. To that end, things don't look too promising.) Bis morgen!

[24/30 complete]

slow, grey friday

listening....to All Things Considered online (I heart NPR).

feeling....a chill from this windy, rainy day. There's a dull ache in my stomach, too.

tasting....toothpaste at the moment - but eagerly anticipating that first sip of coffee!

seeing....visions of springtime dancing through my head. Can't wait for the buds on the trees outside to burst.

smelling....Berrrrrlin - baking bread, cigarettes, moist air, and industry. It's really a distinct (and somehow very German) smell.

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i never thought i'd say this, but...

...I'm updating my blog from a Starbucks via my iPod. Crazy, I know. But there's free wireless and I needed one BIG cup of coffee to help me recover from both jet lag and a heaping portion of bureaucracy. It's been a long day so I won't go crazy with the details. It's kinda weird to be the unwanted foreigner no one could care less about, ha. At least I have a little German at my disposal; otherwise I'm sure the surly people I interacted with today would be positively wretched. 

In other news, I move into my apartment on Monday. Huzzah! Well, hopefully I'll have time to move somewhere in between revisiting all the offices and agencies I had the pleasure of spending time at today. Because those folks know how to have a good time! And they all just loved me so much, they want me to come back. Huzz...uh-uh.

Tomorrow shall be glorious, however, as I'm free to sleep as long as I please, then plan to eventually make my way back to the free wi-fi. Hopefully I'll finally have a more solid (less boring) post then, too.

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SOME GERMAN WORDS WE ALSO USE IN ENGLISH (because the Germans are always throwing around "coole Englische Woerter"):

kitsch

klatsch

blitz

bratwurst

[22/30 complete]

here

I'm in Berlin safe and sound, but with limited internet access, so this'll be another quick one! My head is spinning, I'm so dang tired. Lots to do tomorrow, too (apartment viewing, registering as a resident, finalizing my insurance....) so I will indeed be getting to bed momentarily. If I miss a few posts over the next few days, please forgive me. I, for one, will definitely be giving myself a reprieve!

[21/30 complete]