Wednesday, April 9, 2014

so. much. better.

This weekend was a winner. I feel so relaxed and satisfied, but I certainly wasn't feeling that way going into it! I'd been anxious and down and quick to anger. My grumpiness was even affecting my interactions with strangers, which is so completely unlike me! Caleb started teething and hasn't been sleeping well, which means we haven't been sleeping well, and that can make life feel pretty dang hard.

On Friday, when my students were [supposed to be] napping, I was sitting on the floor rubbing my eyes, when I felt this little hand gently patting me on the back. "Just breathe in through your nose, Miss Emy, and out through your mouth. It's OK. In... and out...." It was one of my students, coaching me through a breathing exercise the same way I often coach her! "There," she said after a few deep breaths, "isn't that better?"

It was (and the sweetness of the whole thing was definitely a mood booster), but I decided it was time for an even bigger mama time out. I booked a massage for that evening. 





I felt like a new person afterwards. So good, in fact, that I also booked a hair appointment for the very next day! Andy wholeheartedly took over Caleb duty Saturday morning while I went for a coffee and croissant before getting a professional blow out. Cheaper than therapy and frankly left me feeling a whole lot better than sessions spent airing dirty laundry.

After my massage, I also sewed up this little bow tie for the bubba. Handsome, ain't he? :)

Then, yesterday, I headed to the gym for the first time in two years (!) and ran. I've signed up for a 5k in June and have been nervous about getting back in shape. But once again, I came home content and steady. Andy especially seems to appreciate when I step up and take care of myself, probably because I'm less likely to lean on him to meet my emotional needs. Part of me still feels a twinge of guilt spending time and money on myself. There's a difference between self-care and selfishness. I'm still figuring out this balance. For now, we've agreed to budget for a special monthly "mama-pause," whatever that may be. If this weekend is anything to go by, when I give myself a time out, everyone wins.

Happy Mama, happy family